May
4
Things We Actually Like: Text Messaging Your Way To Love
Dude I’m “out with friends”.
I wanna text you up.
Drunken texting is the downfall of many young women and men. I do it. You do it. We all do it. Do not act above the drunken text, do not claim to be infallible; you are weak, and hey, that's okay. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to accepting the beauty and the hilarity of a drunk text, be it dirty, incoherent or just purely stupid. This is a collection of the ridiculousness that we send. And I am all for equal opportunity embarrassment. I will reprint and regurgitate them completely verbatim, and completely without context. The [sic] is, of course, implied. Only the first initial of sender will be used.
Pass along all entries to sarahcroberts at gmail dot com. The dirtier the better.
May
3
“I want to taste your manjuice.”
K. who stole my phone last night while drunk and sent this to my boyfriend.
I think he was serious though, they did used to live together in D.C…
May
2
“Just feelin a little frisky. U there?”
M., 8:17am, May 2, 2008. This person is an ex and also called me at 12:37am last night and left a drunken message. Sounds like someone had a few too many bumps in the wee hours of the mornin’.
“Is it bad to go home with a guy and THEN tell him i’m on my period when he wants to fuck?”
sent to me at 2:04 am, May 2, 2008, by anonymous. Finals are pretty much over, people are getting loopy round these parts.
Apr
15
A peen shot is a good opening.
From T: “He needs a friend. :(”
Attached to text messsage - a peen shot.
Sent New Years’ Day, 3am.
Apr
14
Friends Don’t Let Friends Dial Drunk (or Text SMS, Either) - The Internet Patrol
Looking for submissions so we can all laugh along. The best is when you or someone else does their predictive text wrong and the word ends up being even funnier in the context. Send along to sarahcroberts at gmail dot com. It may be hard to believe, but I do know the art of discretion and all will be kept anonymous. You don’t even need to tell me who sent it - you or someone else. If there’s a funny story that goes along with it, let me know that too. Happy texting!
“If u can guarantee me sex ill cum if not i wont.”
J., Sept. 27, 11:31 PM
“[redacted], slow your pussy down.”
Yeah. From me to 4 people in my phone about 2 months ago.
Apr
13
So awk.
A series … an after finals drunken afternoon: Friday, Dec. 14.
“U should be in ath tonight im celebrating by taking a random girl home, could have been u” - 5:05 pm
‘Thanks i will by the way how come me and u never had fun like that i mean as 2 casual friends” - 5:17 pm
“Haha im just cuttin the fool with u have a good break give me a shout if u go to n orleans” - 5:34 pm
- all from N.
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